To Those They Leave Behind

by Bonnie W Kaye

Copyright ©2008 by Bonnie W Kaye

Permission Granted to Share Freely-BWK


If you are someone who has a loved one or an acquaintance or a friend leaving this life, and you’re the one staying behind, please read them the article, "Leaving This Life Behind" available for free on my website. There are a number of things that might be incomplete in their life here that need to be taken care of before their exit. If they are unconscious or in a coma or unable to respond, realize that there is a portion of their spirit that can hear you, so read it to them with compassion in your heart. They will hear it, I promise you.

If they are someone who has been afraid of death or afraid of the process of dying, not willing to talk about it with anyone—or if they are someone who is fighting and struggling to stay here out of fear, then love them and encourage them, and let them know it’s okay if they want to leave—there is nothing to fear. I promise you this is true. No matter how negative a person they might have been, you should convey the information in the other article to them. It is important.

If it is their time to leave this earthly level of existence and you are trying to keep them here, please release them to Creator’s love. Please don’t ask them to stay here for your own selfish reasons. You will only prolong their transition and perhaps make it more difficult for them.

Release them with love. Tell them it’s okay. You will see them again soon enough. They will simply be in "another room" for you to join them at a later time. In some cases, because they love you, they will stay longer than necessary.

Understand that you have had this person in your life for a very good reason. You have learned from each other, and benefited from each other. But that process is almost over, at least here on this plane of existence. You may read this article for them if you would like, for it simply reinforces what the other article says, and enhances the information there—even if they are unconscious. You may read the articles once a day to them for as long as you wish. They will "get" it. And they won’t need it read to them numerous times because much of the information is things they want and need to hear. They want to know it’s alright to leave. They want to know that it’s a wonderful place they’re going to. They want to know they are already part of the existence of eternity and that they’re simply returning to their natural state.

The process of life and death, as most people understand it, is really something we have been taught is a fearful experience. And even from my childhood, long before I had the experience I describe in my book, "My Journey To The Other Side", I knew there was nothing to fear in death. I honestly could not understand why people feared it so much. My mother died less than a month after I turned six years old. She died in a terrible fashion, but at the time I was not informed of how she died. Her dress caught fire, and she died of the resultant trauma from the burns. Now I know, I’m sure, that she suffered pain before she left this earthly plane. But please understand that once the spirit is gone from the body, the pain is totally irrelevant. It is not remembered. It is not relevant to anything. It simply was a part of this earthly journey.

This person whom you know, whom you are considering reading this article to, some of what they hear they might never have heard before. For instance, there is no judgment by Creator of anything you do here simply because your actions determine the energy vibrational rate of your body, and that rate translates to your spirit. And your spirit vibration is what will place you where you wind up after you leave this plane of existence. The choices you have made here are what determine where you will go there.

If you are on a given level after you leave because of your choices here—let’s say it’s level five out of about twelve—you can, if you so desire, journey to any of the levels beneath you numerically, counting from one upwards. Count level one as being the lowest level, and level three as being this earthly level. You can go to levels one, two, three, and four, as well as your level five, but you cannot get to level six when the vibrational rate of your body has you assigned to level five. The vibrational rate of your energy cannot fit into the energy at level six. However, the beings on level six can come down and visit level five. Beings on level nine can come down to level five. But level five beings cannot visit level nine. For me to even visit, universal laws were bent to accommodate my energy, which was still attached to the earthly plane. All this makes much more sense when you read my book.

I’m using the term down as if we were speaking of a stack of trays. However, in reality, the vibrational frequencies are right here, next to us, not off the planet in some way. In the tray example, think of the bottom two trays as black, the third tray up as gray, and the rest of the trays, all nine or so, as white. The black trays are negative, the white trays are positive, and the gray tray is negative and positive combined on the same level. That gray tray is this earthly level of existence. I personally saw all these different levels, and this is as good of a description as I can come up with.

All of this is like a set of very tall stairs. If you are on a staircase that has the height of each stair as nine feet tall, and you’re only six feet tall, not only can you not see the top of the next stair, you cannot feel to see if it is really a stair or just a wall. Not only that, but there is no way at all for you to determine if there are any stairs higher than that. However, you can clearly see the stairs below you. You can jump down and walk on them if you want. But you can’t get to the next stair from where you are. Same thing spiritually.

Your chosen actions determine your spirit’s position on whichever stair you justly deserve.

But you can’t reach higher. You have to earn higher. That earning process is just really a lot harder when you have no body involved. So get things complete before you leave here. It’s just easier on you.

The same suggestion goes for the person preparing to leave this existence. Help them clear themselves with others if they wish. Everyone has something they need completion on, so ignore it if you see them talking to themselves after listening to or reading this information. Send them love and light and bless them. Everyone deserves that.

If they have been a good person while here, please do not worry about their journey. They will be greeted by others who care, who are there specifically to greet them, to make them feel at ease, and comfortable with their new surroundings. There is nothing about leaving this level of being that should be the source of any fear. None at all.

The information in the article, "Leaving This Life Behind," applies to those staying behind as well. Use it as a comforting tool. And know that the same applies to you and all others when it is time to leave.

If you have anyone you have argued with, or have any complications with, please straighten the situation out before you leave here. Bless them and send them on their way. If reparations are needed, please do so. Return those hedge clippers, or that lawn mower, or whatever it is that doesn’t belong to you. Ask forgiveness. Forgive others. Forgive everyone for everything.

The one thing those leaving take with them that is more important than anything is love.

That’s really all you’re going to leave this plane of existence with. And that’s really all the Universe is about—how we love each other. When I journeyed to these higher planes of existence and watched from the outside as beings traveled down their own tunnels towards their own light, I was standing in a place of such love as to be unimaginable. It was all-pervasive, all encompassing, in and around every cell in my body, and I was completely aware of it. That love is indescribable, and it’s like it’s from every other being in the universe. It is what I missed the most immediately upon my return from that journey. I still miss that love. Yet, I know it still exists, I just can’t feel it here like I did there. The presence of negativity here conceals that love, which is unconditional and totally non-judgmental.

And the tunnel is there because we vibrate at different rates, and we’ll each wind up at the level dictated by our choice of actions here. There must be a way to allow the passage of each spiritual being from this level of earthly existence to that level of spiritual existence without disturbance of all or any of the other levels of being. We have no right to interfere with the spirituality of others.

The light is there because of the love that is needed to guide these beings to where they are to be. The love is important. That light is love, and it draws the being into the tunnel at departure and keeps them safe until they reach their destination.

So if you are with someone when they leave, feel free to tell them to go to the light. If they are having a bad experience, pray for them. Pray hard for them to make their transition easier. If they haven’t left yet, pray and help them ask Creator’s forgiveness. If they need to stay here to clear some things up with those they have offended, then they will not leave yet. If they stay, and are unconscious, talk to them, tell them to forgive and ask forgiveness of any and all they need to address. Read them "Leaving This Life Behind" if you haven’t already done so. Read it to them again. Help them help themselves.

A number of years ago, I was walking through my house, and as I passed my bedroom door, I saw a tall slender man with a baseball-type cap get up off my bed, look at me, and walk out of the room right through the wall. It all happened in less than a second. I thought I recognized his style of dress and his overall appearance, so I told some friends about it, but didn’t follow up. I could think of no reason for him to be visiting me in the middle of the day. (I see Angels and spiritual beings periodically, so this was not that unusual for me.)

A couple of months later, I discovered that my friend had actually died at that approximate date. I never was able to find out the time. But I knew it was him. I missed him. We had been close during the 30+ years we had known each other. This was not a romantic relationship, but one of trust, like brother and sister. We cared about each other on the planet. He was a kind and gentle soul. I’m convinced to this day that he came to say goodbye.

I have since asked him to come visit with me, talk with me, counsel me on some carpentry work I was doing that needed to match some work he had done, and even travel with me for company. I don’t see his entire body any more, but I know when he’s present because I see the area around his knees. He was slender and crossed his legs in a rather unique way. Sometimes he just shows up. But he’s always welcome.

Whenever we have loved ones who leave us behind, frequently, if there was a loving relationship in place at death, they may stay around for a while. Or they may leave, go to the light, and return at a later time. I have another friend who has done this, also. She died recently, and she and I had had many discussions about this subject and my entire My Journey To The Other Side information. I’m sure she knew I would be able to see her if she made even a slight effort. And I did see her. She is so happy now.

In her case, a woman she worked with, whom I had never met before the memorial dinner for her about 10 days after her death, confirmed she had seen my friend in a dream. The interesting thing about that is that I stood up at the dinner and spoke of how my friend had transformed each time I had seen her that day. She had "morphed" from a tired, large, plain older woman with short graying hair into a tall, slim, beautiful and energetic lady with long blonde hair. I didn’t mention to them (only to another friend) that I had seen her in a long white dress, not a robe.

This other woman told me she saw the tall, slender, attractive blonde in a white dress in a dream the previous weekend and had known it was my friend. She had even told a co-worker about it several days before the dinner. The co-worker confirmed her statement.

So you see, there really is an afterlife. But it’s not really an afterlife—it’s the continuation of the life we’ve had in eternity all along. Our short journey here is a side trip—a difficult vacation.

If you have a need to draw someone to you who has passed on, please understand this is possible. They’re not far. It’s just as though they’re in a different room. As a matter of fact, when the person you care about is ready to leave this level of existence, it will be as though the Angels who have been waiting for them in the "other room" will probably join them in the room they’re in. That person may even see them, and even talk to them, but unless you are attuned to a higher level of energy, you will probably not see them. Because their body is here only for a short while longer, their spirit is in the process of transition to another level. It has not left control of this body behind yet. But that person will frequently see those who are waiting for them. You may even recognize the names if they happen to speak them aloud.

Death is nothing to be afraid of. If someone you know has disappeared, has not been able to be found, and you don’t know whether that person is alive or dead—perhaps you haven’t know for years—please understand, whether they are alive or dead to this plane of existence, Creator and the Angels know exactly where they are. They are never lost. They can never be lost. If they get to the other side before you do, they’re very likely to greet you when you get there. If they don’t, when you leave here, you may be able to greet them when they get to the other side.

If they were kidnapped as a child, and they don’t even know of your existence, they don’t remember, then why not call them by name and bring them into the room taking the form as you last saw them? Ask them to sit in a chair and speak to them as though they are there. Tell them you love them, you’re concerned about them, you would like to know where they are if possible, but you really just want them to know you love them. They are loved. They are cared for.

Someone is concerned about them. Anything else you want to tell them, you can bring them to you in spiritual form and speak to them at any time. I consider this to be like broadcasting to a particular radio frequency. Their spirit WILL get it, no matter where they are. They will hear you. If nothing else, their Angels will convey the message. Even if they don’t get it on a conscious level, they will understand subconsciously.

The one thing that is consistent about the things that occur on this planet is that there is inconsistent love. But elsewhere in the Universe, and at different vibrational rates, there is consistent love because is it known that this is the most important single item in the Universe—love.

It doesn’t make any difference if you get up in the morning and play tennis, or go to work and make a million dollars, or go dig a ditch, or do nothing, or are completely incapacitated physically or mentally, or are a genius, or an athlete—it makes no difference because if you are unable to translate love into your life and the lives of others, then you need to look around. You won’t take the million dollars with you when you leave here, or the athletic body, or anything else we’ve come to treasure. You’re already highly intelligent in your spirit, and your spirit already knows the answer to every question you’ve ever wanted to ask.

The whole principle here is love. Love can be as simple as giving the poor man on the corner food. It doesn’t have to be a $5.00 bill, it doesn’t have to be a dime. It could be a hug. It could be that you sit and talk with them. Old people—wonderful treasures—they need love. They’re isolated. Nobody loves them. Hardly anybody visits them. They’re passČ, they don’t know enough. They’re a treasure! And they need love, just as you need love.

The person who is getting ready to leave this plane of existence needs love. Love them, but let them know it’s alright to leave. Bless them, and let them go. You don’t own them. They don’t own you. If you’ve had a difficult relationship with this person, please take the opportunity before they leave and sit down with them and tell them you understand that it was difficult, and you forgive them. You will understand more about why these things occurred down through time, or perhaps it’s now irrelevant why they occurred. But you need to forgive them unconditionally, and ask them to forgive you.

Thirty days before my father died, I had just such a conversation with him. I traveled from another state deliberately to speak with him. I somehow knew it was very important, but none of us knew his time was short. When I got there, I sat down with him in the evening and we had a very long conversation, longer than we had ever had before at one sitting. Initially, I told him I forgave him unconditionally for everything I had been unable to forgive him for before that day.

I told him of several incidents, not to blame him, but for both of us to know what had given me the most difficulty. For years before that day, I had worked on many situations, clearing anger and resentment and pain about them from my spirit. I had help getting that far, but it was definitely worth it.

Then I asked him to forgive me. He told me there was nothing to forgive, and I said, "Listen, I’ve been inside this body and I know some of the things I’ve done. I know they’ve been hard on you. So I ask you again, please forgive me for the things I’ve done that have been hurtful to you." And he did.

The conversation we had after that was the best I’ve ever had with my father. I truly believe that partly because of that conversation, some time later I was able to watch as he joined my group of Angels, actually replacing one who then left. When I asked him later why he was there, he informed me he had come to help me to become the strong person he knew I was capable of being. About seven years later, I suddenly got a strange feeling that my father was gone, so I checked—and he was no longer with me. His job was done. I knew it was done. I had finally gained the strength of being I was supposed to have.

Those things that are good, positive, happy, bad, negative, unhappy are almost exclusively there so someone or everyone involved can learn something about themselves. Different lessons are there for each person involved.

The "chair conversation" process previously described is really an excellent one for people who have lost loved ones in disasters, or even for people who have had loved ones adjacent to disasters that have affected them emotionally and / or psychologically for years down the road.

Please understand, the person who is close in proximity, but is not physically damaged, will go through far more trauma than you can imagine. That type of impact on their life, seeing that type of intensity and pain and loss—this is not something that is what we would consider normal. No one is prepared for that, I don’t care how much they’ve been trained. It is hard to realize that until one given instant shortly before, that was a warm, live, active human, and now they might be in pieces.

I’m sure that at the Murrah Building in Oklahoma City, and the twin towers of 9/11, doctors and others who were used to seeing people in all degrees of physical trauma were unbelievably affected. There is nothing wrong with having someone get help psychologically when they need it—and they need someone who is a good professional, not just someone with a degree. That does not mean they’re excellent or smart at what they do.

If the person who is preparing to leave this life has had any kind of a trauma like that, I would like to suggest that you try to find someone who is compassionate and good at their job who can help them release the negativity they might be holding inside. Perhaps it’s from a war, or maybe they were an emergency worker, or a police officer, or even involved in some secret perilous business of some kind and they saw things they can never discuss. They don’t have to talk about these hidden things, but they need to release the trauma, because that trauma pulls the physical and the spiritual downward into negativity.

Whatever goes on in this life is okay. I realize some may disagree with that statement, but I’m speaking about the broader perspective. There is nothing we can do to each other that can shock Creator and the Angels. The horrors people do to each other are not unexpected. However, how each individual treats that situation is the trick. Each person seeing a traffic accident, even if they are literally standing shoulder to shoulder, will react and see the scene differently. They are affected differently. So they cannot truly be treated the same in order to help their spirit return to normal.

Love and loss are very traumatic. To lose someone in a traumatic situation that you have loved for even five minutes is emotionally impactful. It will affect the rest of your life, even if you don’t think it does.

If you had someone barely known to you who was involved in a disaster—perhaps you had met a waiter at the top of the twin towers who served you well and chatted with you pleasantly and had made the dining experience memorable—when you watched those towers fall, knowing those people died, your physical body was affected. When each of us saw the towers fall time and time again on television, in truth, each time your body saw it, it was reacting as though it saw it for the first time. It couldn’t believe it. On an average, the human body must take several days to dissipate the trauma of seeing something with your own eyes. And we definitely saw that with our own eyes. We saw the videos. And the subconscious cannot distinguish between a real event and a vividly imagined one, or one repeatedly on television after the fact. What happens is that your body reacts.

In some ways, I’m pleased they have removed those scenes from the television, but in other ways I’m not. Our bodies need to recoup, they need to relax, they need to get rid of the trauma, and they need to send love to all those people who died, no matter how far distant in the past this event was.

If those towers falling was shown occasionally, with a psychological point, then it is beneficial.

Still, your body will need several days to recover from the trauma. You still know that when that scene was shot, there were people in those buildings.

Eventually everyone will leave this plane of existence because our earthly journey is only for a certain time frame, so what I have to say literally applies to everyone. Understand, part of your journey is to wish them love and light and help them on their way in a peaceful way. Part of doing that is to relay this information to them. You can read this to them, you can read the other article to them, or both, but please, help them to understand that there is nothing to fear. This act of compassion raises your vibrational level, as well.

There is love out there abounding throughout the Universe that is waiting for them, more than they can possibly conceive of until they leave here. It is unbelievably magnificent, but not in the way you would think. It doesn’t have gold streets, although there is a golden glow around them on some levels. What is so outstanding is the quantity and intensity of the love. I cannot describe it. There are no words that can adequately describe this.

Let them go. Bless them on their way. Give them love and light and give them a hug if you can. And let them know you love them and forgive them. Ask them to forgive you. And suggest to them that they forgive those people whom they have harmed, and who have harmed them. If they choose not to do that, that’s up to them. But please make the suggestion. It will be so much better for them on the other side if they do so before they leave here.

I hope that something I’ve related here has been of benefit. I hope that you will take some of these things yourself and translate them into your life. I wish I could take you all to where I have been to see what I have seen. They will be there soon, and they will see the level at which their vibrations take them—their heaven. I have seen each level and they are all wonderful. There is never a moment you are disconnected from Creator. And the closer your vibrations take you to Creator, the better it gets.

Love this person. Care for them. Pass their knowledge on if you can. Honor them because they made it to the end of a very difficult existence.

I wish you love and light.